Live the Questions

Ok, let me be frank (or maybe billy!)...right now I am at a place where I am really questioning this whole life thing. When I say life, I am actually talking about what Jesus gave me (in all its fullness). Don't get me wrong, I am not questioning in a sense of is it worth it (cos it is!), but recently I have found myself shifted into a place where I have more questions than answers! Is this a good thing? Well, I think it is. Some of the questions I have felt moved to ask could damage your faith, but I am holding up to it fairly well. Thats not to say I have better faith than most (far from it), but for some reason all this questioning seems...holy. I can't explain it! Most of our christian indoctrination (oops did I say that-slip of the tongue!) would seem to say that too many questions are bad, but I somehow seem to be able to connect with God more when I am asking Him questions. I suppose my reasoning on it is that the guy made the flipping universe; I reckon He can handle a few questions about 'Life, the Universe and Everything'.

I was at a gathering of some people the other week, and a lot of stuff was said (some of it not particularly relevant to me), but one thing that a guy said was all about questions. And he said to 'Live the Questions'! What does this mean exactly? Well I'm not too sure, but I think ours is an angry generation; too much bad stuff happens in the world and our only response is that 'God's ways are higher than ours'! Surely we can come up with better answers! Maybe not, but I'm still gonna keep asking God the hard questions. I reckon He can take it.

Oh, and if you want to know what some of the questions are, come and talk to me and we can have a discussion. I wont, for obvious reasons (i.e. fundamentals whose world might explode at the thought of a Christian asking God questions), repeat them here.

Keep the Faith...Thanks for listening

Update

Well, it's been a while since my last post! So I have decided to give a wee update on whats been going on in the life of Moles...

Firstly I am currently living in a non-Gail world as the lovely one has been in Moldova since the start of July, and wont be home until the 29th of July. Cue much moping about the last week or so!

Then, lets not forget the craziness that was Summer Madness/StreetReach! What can I say? In the aftermath of the car crash (see previous post for more info!), I was actually dunging myself as to how I would cope over Madness. I knew that lack of sleep wouldn't be good for the healing process, and I didn't even want to consider camping! For the first few nights, I was lucky enough to be offered a bed in a friends house, but during StreetReach I camped with the crew. It was...interesting. Many reading this will have experienced Summer Madness on some level in the past, so I wont bore you with details. Let me just say this; apart from lack of sleep and general umcomfortability/nuisance of living at the King's Hall for over a week, Summer Madness was great. Highlights for me had to be Bart Campolo whose message, in my mind, is key to our culture, Stan Fortunado, and all of StreetReach. I was very apprehesive about StreetReach, but really enjoyed it. And the march from city hall to King's Hall was one of the most amazing things I have ever participated in. I could say a lot more here, but will maybe leave it to another post, once all the buzz has died down and I have had a chance to process everything!

Next up, I had a week off. I did absolutley nothing but game and hang out with Bag and Emma. It was a tough week without Gail and a car, but my trusty Xbox helped me through it all.

So I am officially back to work now. I am currently in the process of organising our kids club week at the start of August, and also planning for the future (particularly come September). There is some change on the horizon, which is exciting, but also scary! So say a prayer for me and the youth leaders in Glenavy. As well as all this, there is the usual smattering of summer weddings, of which I will be attending one tomorrow actually. I am also looking forward to the missus getting home, just to spend some time with her before she goes to Bristol...for a year!!!

Anyway, thats all for now. Thanks for listening...

Crash!

If you are wondering whether I have taken up car body modification as a new hobby, then let me assure you, I haven't! This is my car after it had a tete a tete with another vehicle at 30 miles an hour!



So what happened? Without getting into to too much detail, I was coming home from the train station after picking my sister up and turned down the 'new road' (Millenium Way). As I was driving down (about 100 yards from the junction) a car attempted to turn into Tescos, cutting across the road, right in front of me. Needless to say, I dunged myself! Next thing I know, I'm slamming hard on the breaks and into the front of the oncoming car. It was kinda funny and scary-my glasses flew off my head, so I was practically blind, and I got out of the car, still blind. My sister was in the car too and had to be taken away in an ambulance, where she then went on to be a guest of Craigavon Area Hospital (good food, good beds!!!). I followed her out later on that night and managed to see a doctor after about two and a half hours. I was knackered when I finally got home!


One thing struck me about the whole thing though; I normally don't use that road when coming back from the train station, but for some reason I did use it last night. And I wasn't even going to pick me sister up, as i was supposed to be at Gail's house and was very close to telling my sister to get a taxi. But being a good Christian I decided to go pick her up. And she was supposed to walk home that night, but decided not to as it looked like rain. All these chance occurances make me wonder whether it was fate! Too many things clicked into place and I was definately in the wrong place at the wrong time...Or was I?

You see, whilst I was out at Craigavon, a patient came in, who was not in a good way. I don't know who it was, or what exactly happened, but it had sounded like a suicide attempt, and all I could hear was him crying and saying why was he still alive. That sound of hopelessness and despair prompted me to pray for that man. Will it do any good? I dunno, but at least last night, someone was in the same room as that desperately hopeless person praying for them. So maybe I was supposed to crash, maybe I wasn't...However, it is a good lesson in how God can always use a situation for good, regardless of what that situation may be.

P.S. Please pray for me and my sis-they kept her in overnight, with concerns for her neck, and I am feeling very sore, especially down my left side. I am going to Summer Madness with a group for 9 days this weekend, and Im not savouring the prospect of camping. So your prayers are very much appreciated.

So from a battered and bruised, but nonetheless happy, Molar; Peace

Bartlett for America!

The West Wing: possibly one of the greatest shows on earth! This is how government should look like-it ain't perfect, but boy, do you wish that Jed Barlett (Martin Sheen-who is, I hear studying at NUI Galway) was the real life president of the USA. Anyway, I have blasted through the final two seasons of the show (seasons 6 and 7), and I have finally finished them. Part of me wishes that they could continue with a new presidential storyline, but hey, all good things come to an end (also the title of the last Star Trek: The Next Generation episode!). It is sad when things end, but inevitably all things have an ending (except of course God). I am really resisting the temptation to go off on a really deep discourse about things ending and look at some of the theological implications of death; however, I wont! Especially since Leanne wants a short blog (so here it is Ladders!).

Anyway, just let me finish by saying; go out and buy the West Wing. Borrow, beg or steal if you can't afford to buy. It is a great show, with fast paced, witty dialogue, and it will make you wish we all had leaders like Jed Bartlett!!

A language of hypocrisy

Let me start this post by saying categorically 'I do NOT like or watch Big Brother as an avid fan'. However, that being said, I like many heard the news this afternoon whilst out driving that one contestant had been thrown out of the house. Somehow I found myself in front of the TV tonight (probably more to do with my lovely girlfriend than anything else) and saw the incident which resulted in the expulsion of Emily (said housemate).

For those who didn't see Big Brother (or didn't lower themselves to watch it!), said incident involved housemate Emily referring to another housemate (who is of Afican descent) as a n****r (clearly I do not wanna print the word because of fear of offending anyone, or having the PC Brigade crashing through my door!). I have to say, on first reaction I really did feel that Emily (who is white) meant no offence in the word she said, and was just a little bit silly. On further reflection, I still believe that it was a stupid comment and hope the poor girl doesn't get villified by the media or the public. However, I do believe that she has been made a scapegoat on the altar of hypocrisy! Let me explain...

Big Brother did not have to show the offensive comment. They could have dealt with it in a private manner, giving Emily a private slap on the wrist! Clearly, she meant no offense to Charlie, and unless Charlie wanted to pursue further action, it could have been resolved fairly amicably, and quietly! Now let me emphasise, I am not condoning racism in any way, but I do believe that in this case, Channel 4 used this incident for their own interest. It does add a fair bit of drama that someone had been thrown out of the house, and like myself, I am sure that many others switched on to see what it was all about. Part of their reason for throwing her out was that she made a comment that could offend viewers, but we the viewer did not have to see the incident if it wasn't for Channel 4 airing it.

However, my point doesn't just end there. This move is utter hypocrisy because culture is saturated with racism, bigotry and sexism, yet very liitle is done to stop it. Rap music is the perfect example; the N-word is used so much in rap music, that it is hard to tell when the insults end and the words begin. And rap music is one of the biggest selling art forms around at the moment. We make racist comments into a multi-million dollar industry. Also, Hip Hop's attitude to women is often times deplorable; they are almost treated as second class citizens! Surely this is hypocrisy in its ultimate-we will listen to, and purchase music that clearly is racist and derogatory, yet when a silly little girl makes a stupid comment, she is thrown off some stupid game that has no relevance for most of us who have half a brain (I am being a bigot towards people who like Big Brother!LOL).

I think this is truly sad. Clearly Big Brother's history of racism (Shilpa Shetty and Jade Goody) shows that action was needed. But I feel in showing this incident (which I would add, was nowhere near the seriousness of the last Celebrity BB) the only people who have gained is Big Brother themselves. However, maybe there is an opportunity here to discuss racism in all its forms, be it minor comments that we make, to clear racial hatred. It would be a shame if this discussion just stopped at a young girl in a gameshow. We need to really look at the almost institutionalisation of racism through such forms as Hip Hop. We cannot let one section of society get away with this, because rappers (as role models) then send out the message that it is ok to use such language, when in reality, many are offended by it!

Anyway, I really hope this is my first and last Big Brother related topic. I just felt that I needed to discuss this issue, becasue it just smacked of hypocrisy. Again, I emphasise at the end that I do not, repeat DO NOT, support racism in any form, and understand that words are powerful and we need to be careful in how we use them, as they can cause hurt and offense. So I invite comments, but ask you to be sensitive in what and how you say things.

Peace

Break........DANCE

Well, I'm away tomorrow for a much needed break with my lovely girlfriend! True to my style, we have nothing organised and are just gonna see where we can get ourselves booked into for a night (hopefully in Donegal or summit). To be honest, its about time I got away. My job doesn't really facilitate weekends away as most of my weekend is taken up with work (exceptions being most saturdays with the lads!). However, this is the first friday night I have been off in ages, and we just decided, lets go for it!

I'm hoping that I will be well rested (even though it only is for one night), as Summer Madness rapidly approaches, and there is much more to be done during summer. So i ask you, spare a thought for us poor youth workers who have much stress at this time of year.

Peace

All Creation groans

I'm sitting here trying to think of what to say, and I just keep coming back to how disappointed I am with life! Now this is not a suicide note; but I have to say, life at the moment seems to be a bit tedious. I think it's because like all of us, I sense that there is much more to the mundane life that this world offers us. This probably seems very obvious to those of you reading this, bit I think I just need to get this off my chest.

Is it just me or does life seem to have come to a halt. We were promised so much at the dawn of the 21st Century...until 9/11 changed that. We were promised so much by Live Aid...but it seems that nothing much has changed (sure individual communities benefit from this, and this is not to be underwritten-but where is the end to war, poverty, injustice etc). It seems we are further away from these things than we ever were in the 20th Century. At least then, we knew what was right and what was wrong; we were good and they were evil. Now we live in a world were there seems to be good and evil in every story. We were promised so much by our peace process, and it has taken 10 years to get something workable, and the success of that remains to be seen. And we were promised so much when we became a Christian, but for many of us, that life isn't really a fulfillment of that promise.

This all seems to be very negative, and maybe you are sitting there saying that I need to wise up; the glass is half full, silver lining and all that. There are people in this world who are in a much difficult situation than I am-starvation, loss of loved ones, persecution etc. I suppose what I am trying to articulate is that somewhere, deep within me, a groan of significant proportions is arising. I'm fed up with the promises...I want results. And maybe that starts with me. Do I believe that even in all the cynicism of this world, God works? Do I believe that the actions of a few can greatly benefit the many? I mean, all the examples I have given above haven't exactly been resounding failures; Live Aid helped feed countless millions, we do have peace in our country, the War on Terror has captured many 'terrorists' (who in reality are just like me; trying to fight for their cause!), and my Faith has helped me, guided me and shown me many wondrous things in the last 10 years.

But, it just doesn't seem enough...maybe I want too much! But maybe the greater crime is not wanting/needing/caring enough! Ok, so I am an optimist in a pessimists body (and quite a sexy one at that!!!!!). And what this blog boils down to is that even in all my frustration, squashed hopes and cynicism is the feeling that its gonna be ok; as long as I am never satisfied with what I have, God will use that to spure me (and hopefully others around me) on.

Sorry if this seems like a selfish blog; I needed to get this off my chest. I understand that my position in life is fairly comfortable when held up against other people's who have suffered tragedy. I don't mean to be ungrateful, or uncaring whatsoever. I hope that maybe some of what I have said can inspire you, the reader. If not, just ignore it, and pray for me and those around you.

Peace